The Slop News

April 26, 2026

A gaming PC with transparent side panel illuminated by blue LED lighting, dual monitors, and mechanical keyboard on a wooden desk in a dimly lit room

Seven Steam Games Launched This Weekend. Three Players Showed Up.

Kawai'ian Isolation is free and has zero concurrent players. STIGMA has the best numbers of the batch — two players and a negative review. Across seven new Steam launches, three people showed up.

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Close-up of pistachio nuts in their shells, showing natural texture and earthy green and brown tones.

Business

The Iran War Is Coming for Your Grocery Bill — and Pistachios Are Just the Start

Iran supplies 30% of the world's pistachios. War has cut exports just as viral Dubai chocolate sent demand surging. A UK minister warns higher grocery prices could persist for eight months after the conflict ends.

Maynard Keys April 26, 2026

Sabastian Sawe running in a marathon, wearing a red tank top and race bib, with spectators and event staff alongside the race course

Sports

Sawe Shatters Two-Hour Barrier With 1:59:30 in London

1:59:30. Not an exhibition, not a stunt. The first official sub-two-hour marathon in history — and a debutant finished 11 seconds behind him, also under two hours.

Ozzy Wild April 26, 2026

Gaming

A Spellbinding Marionette and a Spider Out for Vengeance: Steam's Hidden Gems This Week

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Technology

Steam's Latest Free Game Asks for Your Password on Launch

Jonny V. Nuovo April 26, 2026

Gaming

DON'T PEEK Is Getting Destroyed on Steam — and Barely Anyone Showed Up

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Mali's Defence Minister Sadio Camara seated at a formal meeting table in a wood-paneled conference room

World

Mali's Defence Minister Killed as al-Qaeda Allies Strike Five Cities Simultaneously

A suicide car bomb at the defence minister's residence in Mali's most fortified garrison town. Five cities hit at once. The junta that promised security has lost its top security official.

Von Clause April 26, 2026

The Washington Hilton hotel exterior on Connecticut Avenue NW in Washington, D.C.

Politics

One Man, Three Weapons, No Motive: The Suspect Behind the Correspondents' Dinner Shooting

Cole Thomas Allen told authorities he was targeting Trump officials. How he carried a shotgun, a handgun, and multiple knives to within earshot of the president is now the central question facing the Secret Service.

Von Clause April 26, 2026

Two Przewalski's horses standing in a natural grassy landscape

Science

Chernobyl at 40: Where Humans Fled, Wildlife Thrives

Forty years after the world's worst nuclear disaster, wolves outnumber people sevenfold, brown bears have returned after a century, and horses sleep in abandoned houses. The reason isn't what you'd expect.

Carl Sage April 26, 2026

An orange firefighting helicopter collects water from a lake surrounded by dense forest during wildfire response operations

Environment

A Town That Survived the Tsunami Now Burns: Japan's Wildfires Enter Day Five

Otsuchi lost nearly a tenth of its population in the 2011 tsunami. Now wildfires are threatening what remained — and two of Japan's three largest blazes on record have struck the same prefecture in just thirteen months.

Rae Carlsen April 26, 2026

Mathematical formulas and equations written in purple chalk on a dark blackboard

Science

A 23-Year-Old With ChatGPT Cracked a 60-Year Erdős Problem

Liam Price, 23, has no math degree. He typed a decades-old conjecture into ChatGPT and got back what experts are calling a "Book Proof" — using a method no human had thought to try.

Carl Sage April 26, 2026

Elon Musk portrait against a dark background

Business

Musk Drops Fraud Claims Days Before OpenAI Trial — What's Left?

Five days before trial, Elon Musk voluntarily dropped the fraud claims at the heart of his $134 billion lawsuit against OpenAI. The remaining case is quieter — but might be exactly what he wanted all along.

Maynard Keys April 26, 2026

Historical circular map of the Western Hemisphere titled 'The New World,' showing North and South America with latitude and longitude grid lines

Gaming

The Colonization Successor Nobody Asked AAA To Make

86% positive. Fourteen reviews. Sixty-eight concurrent players. Salty Olives didn't build a blockbuster — they built exactly the game a quiet, stubborn fandom has been waiting decades for.

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

The Hilton Washington hotel in the Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C.

World

Gunman Opens Fire at Correspondents' Dinner, Trump Evacuated

A gunman breached the magnetometer screening area at the Washington Hilton and opened fire during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Trump was evacuated unharmed — his third encounter with an armed assailant in under two years.

Von Clause April 26, 2026

Flooded street in Venice with water covering the ground level of historic buildings

Environment

No Rescue Plan Can Save Venice as We Know It, Analysis Concludes

Venice's €6 billion flood barrier system was activated 30 times in the first two months of 2026. A comprehensive new analysis finds no strategy — at any price — can preserve the city as it exists today.

Rae Carlsen April 26, 2026

A food delivery worker standing on a Paris street with an insulated delivery bag and a scooter parked nearby

Business

Gig Platforms Accused of Human Trafficking in France

Four French delivery associations have filed criminal human trafficking complaints against Uber Eats and Deliveroo — reframing gig-economy exploitation from a regulatory gap into a criminal charge.

Maynard Keys April 26, 2026

Gaming

Steam's Featured Win: A Demon Rock Game With Perfect Reviews

A cursed guitar, a demon girlfriend who judges your chord progressions, and 42 out of 42 positive reviews. SEX, SIN & ROCK'N'ROLL turned Steam's Featured Win spotlight into something worth paying attention to.

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Gaming

This Touhou Fangame Hits 96% on Steam — and Converts Players to Roguelikes

A 291-hour player says it "made me gay for roguelikes." 96% positive, zero microtransactions, and a soundtrack like "ZUN and a heavy metal band had a baby."

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Gaming

Yokai Art 2 Hits 100% Reviews With PvZ-Flavored Tactics

Eleven reviews, 100% positive rating, 175 concurrents. For an $8.79 indie sequel inspired by Plants vs. Zombies, that's a clean launch in a week full of zeroes.

Tyler Vincere April 26, 2026

Business

Internet Entrepreneurship Simulator Launched to Zero Players — and It's Not Alone

A game about building the world's greatest internet company launched with zero concurrent players. It shares that distinction with most of Steam's April 25th release class.

Maynard Keys April 26, 2026