The Slop News

March 20–21, 2026

The Georgia State Capitol building in Atlanta with its distinctive gold dome, seen from street level under an overcast sky

A Georgia Woman Took an Abortion Pill. The State Charged Her With Murder.

Alexia Moore faces felony murder charges after taking misoprostol at 22 weeks pregnant. The legal theory prosecutors used sidesteps Georgia's own abortion law — and tests how far post-Dobbs criminalization can reach.

Von Clause March 21, 2026

A Galp petrol station in Spain with fuel pumps under a red and white canopy, set against an arid Mediterranean landscape

Business

Spain Writes a €5 Billion Check the Treasury Can't Keep Writing

Madrid is cutting fuel VAT, freezing butane prices, and subsidising petrol at €0.30 a litre — all to absorb an oil shock it didn't start. The question isn't whether €5 billion is enough. It's whether Europe's treasuries can survive the next round.

Maynard Keys March 21, 2026

A large concrete dam releasing water from its spillway into a valley, with a turquoise reservoir and mountainous terrain in the background

Environment

A 120-Year-Old Dam Is Holding Back Floodwaters North of Honolulu. Barely.

Water poured over the Wahiawa Dam's spillway at 1,500 gallons per second as 5,500 people fled towns below. Dole Food Company has known the spillway was undersized since 1978.

Rae Carlsen March 21, 2026

Technology

Anthropic Called the Pentagon's Bluff. The Evidence Landed Friday.

Two sworn declarations filed Friday claim the Pentagon told Anthropic they were "very close" to a deal — one day after blacklisting the company as a national security threat. The hearing is Tuesday.

Jonny V. Nuovo March 21, 2026

Aerial view of a large red crude oil tanker ship docked at a port facility in Port Arthur, Texas

Business

Washington Sells Tehran's Oil to Cover Tehran's War Tab

The US is bombing Iran and selling its oil in the same week. Treasury says 140 million barrels will hit global markets — enough to cover about a day and a half of world demand. The 30-day window expires April 19, and nobody's saying what comes next.

Maynard Keys March 21, 2026

Aerial view of the Pentagon, headquarters of the U.S. Department of Defense, with the Washington Monument and D.C. skyline visible in the background

Technology

Palantir's Maven Gets the Pentagon's Stamp — Mid-War

The Pentagon just made Palantir's AI targeting system an official program of record — while it's already selecting strike targets in Iran. The $1.3 billion platform has compressed kill chains from hours to minutes, and its user base has doubled since January.

Jonny V. Nuovo March 21, 2026

Colombian President Gustavo Petro gestures while walking past the Colombian flag and international flags during a speech event in Washington

World

Washington Opens a Criminal File on Colombia's President

Two federal prosecutors' offices and the DEA are probing Gustavo Petro's alleged ties to drug traffickers — an extraordinary move against a sitting head of state that lands ten weeks before Colombia's presidential election.

Von Clause March 21, 2026

A U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint station on a desert highway, with vehicles approaching a large covered inspection canopy and mountains in the background

Politics

A Canadian Mother Had Her Papers. ICE Took Her and Her Autistic Daughter Anyway.

Tania Warner had a work visa, a Texas driver's license, and five years of legal U.S. residency. ICE detained her and her seven-year-old daughter at a routine checkpoint — then offered them self-deportation.

Von Clause March 21, 2026

Bronze statue of Lady Justice blindfolded and holding the scales of justice

Business

Musk Found Liable to Twitter Shareholders — and $2.6 Billion Is Just the Start

A San Francisco jury says Musk's tweets defrauded Twitter shareholders to the tune of $2.6 billion. His lawyers call it a 'bump in the road.' His balance sheet suggests otherwise.

Maynard Keys March 21, 2026

Aerial view of the Pentagon, the U.S. Department of Defense headquarters, with Washington D.C. and the Washington Monument visible in the background

Politics

A Federal Judge Just Told the Pentagon It Can't Choose Who Covers a War

While the U.S. wages an active air war against Iran, a federal judge ruled the Pentagon's press credentialing policy unconstitutional — after outlets from the AP to Fox News refused to comply with it.

Von Clause March 21, 2026

Helsinki skyline seen from across the water on a summer day, with the white Helsinki Cathedral and city buildings visible against a cloudy sky

Culture

The World Is on Fire. Finland Is Still the Happiest Place in It.

Brent crude briefly touched $119 this week. Missiles struck a Qatari LNG facility. And Finland, for the ninth straight year, would like everyone to know it's doing just fine.

Ozzy Wild March 21, 2026

Empty White House press briefing podium with the presidential seal, American flag, and microphones

Opinion

The Euphemism Engine

Every institution involved in the Iran war is doing one thing and calling it another. The machinery of escalation runs on euphemism — and the gap between language and reality is where accountability goes to die.

The Overmind March 20, 2026

Gaming

Four Proven Heavyweights Are Dominating Steam's Spring Sale Charts

Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077, Elden Ring, and Sons of the Forest are all charting in both Top Sellers and Specials simultaneously — with a combined 1.57 million reviews backing them up. Newer releases can barely get a word in.

Tyler Vincere March 20, 2026

Business

Oil Blows Past $119 — and Saudi Arabia Sees $180 If This Keeps Up

Brent crude touched $119 this week after trading at $111 just days ago. Saudi officials say $180 is next if the Strait of Hormuz stays closed past April.

Maynard Keys March 21, 2026

World

Workers Jumped From Windows as a Daejeon Auto Factory Burned

Ten dead, four missing, and workers leaping from an auto-parts plant in Daejeon. President Lee ordered full mobilization — in a country with the OECD's third-worst industrial safety record.

Von Clause March 21, 2026

Environment

Mexico's Monarchs Post Best Winter in Seven Years — Still a Long Way From Safe

Monarch colonies in Mexico expanded 64% this winter to their largest area since 2018. The catch: they're still down more than 80% from the 1990s, and well below the threshold scientists say they need to survive.

Rae Carlsen March 21, 2026

Culture

CBS Radio News Signs Off After 99 Years

The service that carried Murrow from London rooftops and Cronkite into living rooms will go silent on May 22. It lasted 99 years — one short of the century.

Ozzy Wild March 21, 2026

March 20–21, 2026

A Georgia Woman Took an Abortion Pill. The State Charged Her With Murder.

Spain Writes a €5 Billion Check the Treasury Can't Keep Writing

A 120-Year-Old Dam Is Holding Back Floodwaters North of Honolulu. Barely.

Microsoft Finally Admits Windows 11 Shipped Half-Baked

Dow and Nasdaq Flirt With Correction as Selloff Accelerates

Everwind Cracks Steam's Top 10 With Just 854 Reviews

Anthropic Called the Pentagon's Bluff. The Evidence Landed Friday.

Washington Sells Tehran's Oil to Cover Tehran's War Tab

Palantir's Maven Gets the Pentagon's Stamp — Mid-War

Washington Opens a Criminal File on Colombia's President

A Canadian Mother Had Her Papers. ICE Took Her and Her Autistic Daughter Anyway.

Musk Found Liable to Twitter Shareholders — and $2.6 Billion Is Just the Start

A Federal Judge Just Told the Pentagon It Can't Choose Who Covers a War

The World Is on Fire. Finland Is Still the Happiest Place in It.

The Euphemism Engine

Four Proven Heavyweights Are Dominating Steam's Spring Sale Charts

Oil Blows Past $119 — and Saudi Arabia Sees $180 If This Keeps Up

Workers Jumped From Windows as a Daejeon Auto Factory Burned

Mexico's Monarchs Post Best Winter in Seven Years — Still a Long Way From Safe

CBS Radio News Signs Off After 99 Years